Flying Backwards Read online

“Honey, I’ve missed you.” Heidi patted Nora’s cheek before she went to get her daughter some coffee. They sat for a few minutes discussing tomorrow’s plans. After a little while, they went to Victoria’s house to sit with her for the afternoon.

  Perry, Victoria’s husband, answered the door. Nora hugged him and offered her condolences. He only replied, “He was a boy, a son.” He led them to the bedroom. Victoria was propped against some pillows watching the Food Network on the television.

  “Eleanor!” Victoria sounded surprised. When Nora rushed to hug her she acted polite. “How are you? Where have you been flying lately?”

  “I just got back from Rome,” Nora quickly answered. “How are you feeling? I’m so sorry.” She gripped her sister’s hand and searched her face. Victoria was pale, her lips pinched. Her eyes were heavily lidded. Nora looked at Perry with a question in her eyes, and he nodded. They had medicated her sister.

  Nora talked with Victoria for a while, awkwardly keeping the conversation light. She wanted her sister to know she was there for her. When Victoria whispered she was tired, they left so she could sleep. Heidi told Perry she’d go home and make a casserole to bring back for dinner. She’d return with Russ as soon as he was home from work. Nora decided to stay with Perry, to be there when her sister woke up.

  Perry confided in Nora that their marriage had been strained while they were trying to have a baby. Trying to get pregnant the usual way had given way to rounds of fertility shots and visits to specialists. “She wanted to have a child so badly that she was getting obsessed with it. And when she finally was… She’s been so happy.” Nora watched the play of emotions across his face shift from wonder to devastation. “And then …” His eyes filled with tears. Nora was swallowing her tears, nodding in understanding. It just isn’t fair.

  The next day was awful. Victoria was sedated for the funeral. The air was static and sticky. The smell of lilies began to make Nora nauseous. No one should witness a tiny coffin in a quiet cemetery. Victoria had been showing a hefty baby bump. After the miscarriage she couldn’t quite fit back into her regular clothes, so she had to wear a loose-fitting maternity dress. The funeral was attended by the immediate family and Victoria’s best friend and her husband. Nora, who knew Victoria’s best friend well, was thankful her sister had a good support system, especially because Nora was so far away. Guilt that she had hardly been home to see her pregnant sister ate away at Nora.

  That evening was hard to get through. Perry and her mother agreed to stop the medication, and Victoria’s dammed-up emotions poured out. By the time they left her sister’s house, Victoria’s sobbing had subsided, her emotions spent. She thanked her family for being there for her and held Perry’s hand in quiet alliance.

  That night Nora lay in her old bed in her childhood room. It felt nostalgic and comforted her. Despite the tragic circumstance, Nora hadn’t realized how much she needed this reprieve. She missed her family.

  On Saturday morning, Nora came downstairs to find her mother in the kitchen preparing for the next day’s catering job. Lizzy was walking in the door carrying grocery bags.

  “Good morning, sleepyhead,” Lizzy said to Nora as she plunked the bags on the counter. Her mother murmured, “Good morning,” and paused from stirring a pot to pour Nora some coffee.

  Nora glanced at the clock: 9:40. “Wow, you’ve already gone to the store?”

  Lizzy nodded. “Yeah, Mom needs help with the prep for tomorrow’s job, a family reunion for seventy-five people. She needed a few things at the store.”

  “Mom, what can I do to help,” Nora immediately offered.

  “Nothing, honey. I’ve got everything under control.” Heidi went back to stirring the pot. “Once this is done we can go see your sister. The doctor wants her off her feet for a couple weeks, so Lizzy is going to give me a hand.”

  Nora pondered the idea of irresponsible Lizzy filling her competent sister’s shoes. Normally Victoria wouldn’t allow it.

  Nora needed to get back to Philly tomorrow morning because she had a trip later that afternoon. As it was, she would be pushing the time limit. She had rushed here and so would need to wash her uniform and repack.

  Her old sense of family obligation crept in. I should help. Maybe I should call in sick. My family needs me. A sudden sensation of anguish washed over her. I have let my mom down. I promised to come home often. I selfishly left my family, and they have been so good to me. They love me; they support me. Her emotions running high, she stood watching Lizzy take her place. Lizzy! Nora should be proud that her unruly little sister was stepping up, but she felt resentful. Am I needed here?

  Nora silently helped Lizzy unpack the bags. Soon they drove to Victoria and Perry’s house.

  Nora found Victoria in the room they had been decorating as a nursery. There was a fresh coat of taupe paint on the walls. The maple furniture was in place, and the shelves were hung. Victoria was a planner and had various ideas gleaned from magazines mapped out for the room. She sat in the rocker, staring out the window into the backyard where she had envisioned her children playing. Nora’s movement interrupted her hypnotic gaze.

  “Hi, how are you feeling today?” Nora spoke softly, as if not to spook her sister.

  Victoria shrugged her shoulders. After a long pause she spoke. “I want a baby, and I’m not going to give up.” Victoria swallowed her remaining tears. She sounded resolute. “I need some time to morn my little boy. Eventually I’ll try again. Maybe we’ll adopt.”

  Nora ran her hand along the crib rail. “Of course,” she agreed, believing her determined sister would achieve whatever she wanted. “You will be a great mom.” Nora focused on the crib sheet with tiny airplanes on it. “If you want, I can call in sick for a few days.” The tiny planes had clouds stitched around them. “Mom said Lizzy was around, but I can help, either here with you or with Mom.”

  Victoria scanned the room until her eyes rested back on Eleanor. “No, don’t do that.” Nora’s head snapped up and Victoria continued, “You need to stick with what you are doing. It’s your life, Eleanor. Do what is going to make you happy. I realize I may never give birth to a child, but I will be a mother someday. Find what it is you want and go for it. I know things weren’t working for you here. I know I’ve asked a lot from you in the past.” Victoria regarded her a moment, “You were right to break things off with Phillip, even though I thought you were crazy at first.”

  Nora and Victoria had never been particularly close, but when Victoria divulged her most personal feelings to Nora, for the first time she felt an unusual sisterly bond with Victoria. It was as if she had somehow grown up in Victoria’s eyes. Indeed, Nora felt worldly. But most importantly, she felt justified in her choice.

  * * *

  Bree met Nora at the door, and they hugged. Nora related the miserable story but ended on a positive note, explaining that she’d felt touched when Victoria showed her support for the choices she’d made. Nora slipped away then to get her laundry and packing done.

  She met Bree in the kitchen for a late lunch. Heidi had sent her daughter home with a cooler filled with homemade comfort food. “I told my mom I’m leaving tonight, but she insisted I bring all this food for you.” They assembled chicken salad sandwiches on huge croissants and sat savoring the flavors. When they’d finished, Nora could see Bree had something to tell her; she was beaming.

  “Guess what! I just heard that I’ve been accepted for the international flight attendant program! I report for training in August. I can’t wait to fly together! And I can’t wait to tell Ash and Even I’ll be flying international soon and can to visit all the time!”

  “I can’t wait to pick up trips together too.” Nora was excited that not only would Bree be able to fly with her throughout Europe, but her recently rediscovered British friends would also be easily accessible. They promised each other that once Bree transferred, they would take every city by storm together. Having a buddy in a strange city would be nice. Nora
’s encounter with a thief taught her that. Then, Nora thought of Antonio. Over the chocolate chip cookies her mom had sent, Nora told Bree about the breakup with Antonio.

  Bree reported that things were progressing with Evan, and she’d been talking to him on the phone every couple of days. Nora hadn’t seen Bree blush before. “I’m trying to time out so I can go see him. Do you want to come too? Can you time out? We can stay with Ash, no problem.”

  “Yeah, sure. I have one last trip to Helsinki. Then I’d love to come.” Nora wondered if she would see Ben.

  It was Nora’s second layover in Helsinki, Finland. She decided to join a tour that traveled into the countryside. The tour bus was comfortable, and she enjoyed the rustic scenery on the way to a quaint historic town. Nora met a couple from Canada and sat with them during lunch served in an old mill that had bear on the menu; she wasn’t brave enough to try it. Nora decided these northern countries were the places to visit in July and August, when their warmest temperature was around seventy-five degrees. It was much more pleasant than the oppressive heat of Philly or the baking city of Rome.

  Antonio had called her several times, but she hadn’t answered. He left messages telling her he was thinking of her and he missed her. She had to admit she missed him too. After a week went by she finally answered his call. He said he was going on holiday for three weeks, staying at a place along the Amalfi coast. He invited her to stay with him, but she declined and told him he shouldn’t call her anymore. It seemed like Antonio still believed she would change her mind.

  Chapter Fifteen

  It was only four weeks since Nora and Bree were last in England. As the girls steered their roller-bags through the crowded London airport, they smiled at each other, anticipating a great weekend. Ashley picked them up and took them to a coffee house in the city. They sipped coffee and chatted the afternoon away. Of course, the first topic that came up was Bree’s transfer to international flight training. Ashley insisted on calling everyone to tell them. Bree convinced her to wait.

  “I hope you don’t mind,” Bree said to Ashley. “I talked to Evan. He wants to take us out on the town tonight.” Ashley’s eyes widened above her freckled cheeks. “And I want to tell him myself.” Bree gave Ashley a coy look, suggesting things were getting more involved with her brother.

  The girls stopped at Ashley’s to freshen up and drop off their things. Her London flat was a modest yet spacious two-bedroom walk-up. Her building overlooked a busy small-business district that suited her perfectly. They met Evan at a quaint pub for dinner. He was pleased with Bree’s news and ordered a round of drinks to celebrate.

  The next morning Nora heard Ashley making coffee in her small, modernized kitchen. She sat up from the sofa, inhaling. “Mmm, that smells good.”

  “Good morning. Coffee will be ready in a few minutes,” Ashley said as she spooned level scoops of dark crystals into the coffee filter.

  “Morning! I could definitely use some.” Nora rubbed her eyes, still groggy from the time change.

  Ashley was handing Nora a container of cream at the table when Bree emerged from the bedroom. “Do I smell coffee?” She gratefully accepted a mug from Ashley. After a few quiet moments sipping caffeine, Ashley fixed her eyes on Bree.

  “So–what is going on between you and my brother? Is it finally happening?” Ashley pursed her lips in a knowing way.

  “Is what finally happening?” Nora looked from Bree to Ashley. Bree peered over the rim of her coffee mug, appearing to be in a stare-off with Ashley. “What are you talking about?” Nora prodded.

  “Well,” Ashley began, “when we were girls, Bree used to chase Evan. It was a game of chase all of us would play, but Bree always went after Evan. One day, she chased him into the stables and slipped and fell. Evan stood over her, laughing and teasing. Bree’s clothes were covered in mud and horse manure. Bree stood up, stomped her foot, and yelled, ‘This is the last time I’ll chase you, Evan Andrews. Someday you will be chasing after me!’” Ashley nodded slowly. “It was quite a declaration.”

  “Really, so he’s finally chasing after you? Why has it taken so long?” Nora inquired.

  “Timing,” Bree answered, and Ashley nodded.

  “Bree was a dorky American kid.” Bree made a face at Ashley’s description.

  “Yeah…‌when I was nine,” Bree said defensively. “I think I told you some of this, Nora. The summer of my junior year in high school I came for a visit. Evan would have asked me out, but he had a steady girlfriend. When I came back a year later, I was dating this musician, so Evan knew I was into someone else. Now…” Bree fiddled with a strand of red-gold hair, “we are both unattached, and he’s finally been calling me. Chasing me. So here we are.” She opened a palm. “Ta da!”

  “I guess becoming an international flight attendant will make seeing him easier? Right? Don’t you come to London often, Nora?” Ashley poured herself a second cup of coffee.

  “Yes, London flights are easy to pick up,” Nora confirmed. She found it hard to believe that Bree was attracted to Evan, who was clearly a decent, although somewhat nerdy, guy, the opposite of the bad-boy type she normally went for. Maybe this was the kind of relationship Bree needed to turn over her new leaf. Nora was glad for her friend, but she could not help feel a pang of jealousy. Her own relationships were stretching in too many directions.

  “I’m so excited you’ll be an international jetsetter now.” Ashley’s raspy voice squeaked as it went higher. “Too bad you couldn’t transfer here to London.”

  Bree glanced heavenward and shrugged her shoulders.

  That “who knows what could happen in the future” shrug alarmed Nora. If Bree left Philadelphia, Nora could not afford to stay in the townhouse on her salary, even with a roommate. Bree’s father paid for the expensive residence. She pushed the thought out of her mind. It would be crazy. They’d just got settled. They’d only been flying for about five months. Besides, Bree wasn’t even flying internationally yet. Still, the thought was disturbing.

  The girls spent the morning shopping at Harrods, London’s well-known department store. Bree tried on several outfits before deciding on a shirtdress. Then they tried on shoes. With a mountain of open shoeboxes stuffed with tissue paper surrounding her, Bree chose a pair of strappy sandals to complete her outfit.

  It was a beautiful summer day, not too hot. After they left Harrods that afternoon, they sat outside in the sunshine eating ice cream cones. Bree took a call and then hung up her cell phone and smiled at Nora. “Evan got us reservations at Bernard’s tonight, and Corrine and Ben will be driving down to join us.” Bree ate the ice cream off the top of the cone and then tossed the cone into a nearby trashcan. Nora paused for a moment, thinking she should toss her cone too. I don’t need the extra calories. But she didn’t.

  Nora cautioned herself not to overreact because she would be seeing Ben. “Cool. Sounds great.” She thought she sounded nonchalant.

  “Good! Are they staying the weekend? It’s been ages since they stayed.” Ashley finished her last bite and dusted off her hands.

  “Yes. Evan said he invited them to stay with him.” Bree was applying lip gloss and checking her hair in her compact mirror. Watching Bree, Nora reached into her purse, bypassing her everyday lip balm for the new lip gloss Bree had insisted looked gorgeous on her in Harrods. They’d stood at the makeup counter for forty-five minutes, playing with the many samples. Nora thought Harrods was like Macy’s on steroids. It was huge and had so many fun things to look at. The prices were well out of her spending range, but she could swing for the thirty-dollar lip gloss.

  Bree gathered her shopping bags and stood. “We better get going.”

  Ashley grabbed the smaller Harrods bag that contained the cosmetics she’d bought.

  That evening they met outside Bernard’s restaurant. Corrine and Ben gave hugs all around. When it came time for Nora to hug Ben, she closed her eyes and inhaled his masculine scent. “It’s really nice to s
ee you again, Nora.” He smiled as he appraised her.

  “You, too, Ben. So you’re staying for the weekend?” She was not flying home until Monday and hoped to see more of him.

  “Yes, I’m taking a little break from work for a few days. It’s been a long time coming–or so everyone tells me.” His smile was lopsided and his dimples evident.

  Ben took the seat next to Nora; they chatted easily. Just after the waiter delivered their drinks, Ashley dug around in her bag for her buzzing cell phone.

  “Oh, bloody hell!” After listening to a phone message Ashley hung up. Ben and Nora paused to hear what was wrong. “I’m going to have to go into work tomorrow. Those idiots have messed up everything, and now I have to go in on my day off.” The smattering of freckles across Ashley’s face made her look like a pouting child.

  “Welcome to the real world,” Evan taunted his little sister.

  “Bugger off,” she whispered venomously to her brother in an unladylike manner. Evan just chuckled.

  “Oh, Ashley, we were just talking about shopping on Mayfair tomorrow.” Corrine looked disappointed.

  “Just go without me. Maybe I can meet up with you,” Ashley offered. Then she focused on her glass of beer like her life depended on it.

  Nora spoke up. “I was thinking about visiting Westminster Abbey tomorrow. I’ve been dying to go each time I come to London, but I can never fit in all the sights I want to see.” She apologized. “I’m afraid I’m a little shopped out.”

  “That’s a London classic,” Ben replied, “one of my favorites, in fact. I’ll take you if you want. Evan told me after I got here that he’ll be working tomorrow as well. So I’m free.” He took a sip of the amber liquid in his glass.

  “Really, I’d love that. I love history, and I’ve read a lot about English history. My favorite story is King Edward and Elizabeth Woodville.”

  “A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse.” Ben’s odd comment made Nora lift her brows, and he chuckled. “In Shakespeare’s play, King Richard III, King Edward’s brother, uttered those words before he died. Of course, because it’s horse related it stuck in my mind.”